Procrastination & Inaction: How to Get More Done & Become Unstuck
In case you're new here, my name is Kasey David, LCSW, and I am a therapist. I specialize in the treatment of Anxiety Disorders for women of color at Culture of Therapy Wellness Group. I write these articles for anyone interested in a licensed therapist's perspective on mental health and wellness.
Hey there, Friends.
When our anxiety is high and/or tangled with elements of self-oriented perfectionism or socially-prescribed perfectionism, sometimes we don't look forward to the process of doing things. We either delay or it try to avoid it completely. For perfectionists, procrastination can come from the uncertainty and fear about the outcome of our efforts.
If you're a procrastinating perfectionist, you may get so caught up in the 'what-ifs' that you don't take any action at all.
What if it doesn't turn out perfectly?
What if I don't make the best choice?
What if I can't get it just right?
What if I fail?
Let's be open to the idea that inaction is a set of behaviors designed to consciously avoid tasks. Let's also agree it is problematic. I'm going to do less talking than usual here so we can take more action on this one, sooner.
Here are some common factors affecting procrastination. Let's review each one and go over some remedies. We are going to use some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness-Based techniques to make change here. Let's get to it.
All-or-Nothing Thinking: You may have heard me describe this as dichotomous thinking or black-or-white thinking before. It is part of series of cognitive filters we use to interpret information and assess the world. Everybody sues these filters from time to time, but when they are overused, they can lead to chronic anxiety, depression, and stress.
When we put two things (two decisions, two outcomes, two aspects) and force them into one of two categories, we're not going to have much room to live. Humans are complex. We don't always fit into boxes. The outcome of doing things may not always fit into one category (nor should it) and thinking of the end result this way will slow us down. All-or-Nothing thinking will limit what you can do.
Rumination: Rumination is dwelling on something you perceive as wrong. It tends to be on repeat in your mind, replaying over and over as you analyze the contents. It also tends to occur as you are at rest. Your inner critic can be a strong contributor to the process, reminding you of what a failure you are and how you could have done better. Rumination has a wishful quality to it instead of an active, process-oriented approach. Rumination is distinguished from problem-solving in that you are focused on the problem instead of potential solutions and rumination will continue until you disrupt it.
We have to learn to not take part in rumination. Rumination, like worry, is a behavior. All behaviors have a purpose, so take a moment to identify how you benefit from rumination. For example, you may benefit from ruminating in the sense that if you are still thinking about a problem, you are free from needing to take action towards it. If you don't have to take action, you are not at risk of failing or making things worse.
Tunnel Vision/Selective Attention: Selective attention is singularly focusing on one aspect of your experience. It is another type of cognitive distortion or filter that is used to interpret information. It can go hand in hand with all-or-nothing thinking and contribute to significant patterns of anxiety and depression.
New Process: Cognitive Reframing (Alternative Thoughts). Coming up with alternative ways of thinking about what you want to do will expand your opportunities in life. The goal here is mental flexibility and developing open-mindedness. A growth mindset will allow us to entertain the idea that the world is not always as wee see it. Lets try and identify a common automatic thought that we have habitually and work on changing that thought. The process of reframing involves answering some questions about the thought we're having so that we may challenge that style of thinking and have more flexibility in what we think.
Think of an automatic negative thought you want to challenge.
Write it in a single sentence as specifically as you can.
Create alternative thoughts by answering the following questions:
What evidence do you have that this thought is true—evidence that would hold up in a court of law?
What evidence do you have from your own experience that this thought is not true?
Would other people agree that this thought is true?
Is this thought helpful or hurtful to you?
Are you making a judgment call based on the way you feel instead of on objective facts?
If someone you cared about told you they had the same exact thoughts what would you tell them?
Are there benefits to thinking this way? If so, what are they?
Are there costs to thinking this way? If so, what are they?
How likely is it that your thought is 100% true? Even if it is possible, is it probable?
What are some alternative explanations for your original thought?
Once you have alternative thoughts developed, reread them. Focus and consistently remind yourself that new ways of thinking and behaving are good things. You are literally restructuring your perspective.
New Process: Awareness (Red Flags): We want to develop a level of self-awareness that we are ruminating. Lets practice identifying a list of red flags that indicate we are habitually ruminating. Verbally processing your thoughts or saying them out loud, can help to aide in building self-awareness. In addition, instead of getting caught up in the content of our thoughts (the words we make up), we may try visualizing them in some form, so that we can detach from them. Awareness of thoughts help us notice that thoughts can just "pass though" if we don't over-identify or over align with them.
Do you repeatedly dwell on specific instances from your life? If so, describe them.
Do you ask yourself particular questions over and over? Please note them.
Do you overly focus on certain aspects of yourself— personality traits, moods, physical states, physiological sensations in a negative way? Please describe them.
If you find yourself ruminating, answer these questions:
Is this thought process helping me accomplish anything right now?
Is this thought process helping me accomplish anything right now?
Is this process helping me problem-solve or plan effectively?
Is there anything I can do about this problems right now?
If you answered 'yes' to question #3, then take committed action. Keep these in an accessible area and read them to yourself to disrupt the habit of rumination.
New Process: Inaction to Action: Setting SMART Goals. It can be more comfortable to put things off when we are looking at an overwhelming situation — whether it is overwhelmingly bad (selective attention), overwhelmingly good or bad (all-or-nothing thinking), or overwhelming on repeat (ruination).
SMART stands for: specific, measurable + meaningful to you, attainable + achievable, realistic + relevant and time-limited.
We talked about SMART Goals in an earlier edition when we discussed the importance of setting ourselves up for success in our goals this year. Setting goals using this process will help you rely less on problematic habits, like ruminating on an approachable task.
SMART Goals create clarity and boundaries and don't involve your worth or self-esteem to generate activity. Allow goals formatted in this way to help get you un-stuck from thought processes that no longer serve you.
Original goal: I will write an article on procrastination.
SMART Goal: On Sunday at 7:00pm, I will spend 25 minutes reviewing materials I have on procrastination so I can make an article outline. On Monday, I will fill in the body of the article and ask Irene to proofread it, so I don't ruminate after I've written it. On Tuesday, I will create my pictures inserts and schedule the article to publish on Wednesday morning.
Remember this, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."
All of these tools are designed to help us approach our process to tasks, so that we are moving towards our most meaningful life.
Let me know what strategies have helped you in the past or what topics you want to learn more about!
I hope some of this has been helpful to you.
I'll see you next time.
Kasey David
In therapy, these are the mindsets we dive into to help meet our goals. Therapy helps keep us accountable to our true selves and figure out what is most important to do in this life.
Practice Place
Here is where we put pen to paper and practice the concepts we talk about.
It can be difficult to break habits that have served us so well over time. Start small and be patient and brave (not avoidant) with this one. Start here.
Here is how you can practice this week.
Complete the reframing exercise. Download the guide.
Make 3-5 small decisions on a daily basis. Do this every 24 hours.
Set one SMART goal each day and complete it.
Take time to put these into place and develop a new way of thinking about the process in which you do things, not the outcome. Remember, we don't control the outcome, only our effort.
